Growing Pains .. Pains Growing

We can't blame the signs this time. This one time, the entire universe is telling us something. Something supposedly magnificant. Endless signs announce its arrival. With bright lights, balloons, candles, lots of cheering, dancing and celebration. All the signs bring along a wonderful feeling of euphoria as well. At that one point though, we are totally unprepared. Clueless and oblivious to everything that lies ahead.

Today marks the day when you turn 18. I'm 18 and, I can drive.

WOOHOO.

We own the world in our hands. I had the world in my hands, sitting behind the steering wheel of my very first car. The excitement of it all. The thrill that you're 18. I got my driver's license even before I got my ID. I was 19 I think when I actually did. Don't ask.
Anyway, it is a big thing. It's huge, it's of massive proportions. It was before. It will be for just about every teenager, the dream of turning 18 and owning an official driver's license.
I know so many teens drive around way before that. Driving isn't the point. The point is you're 18. It's that one calendar day. No other birthday compares. Not a single one. 18 is one of a kind, unique from every angle. You have an official ticket to grown up land. The land of dreams. You feel you are invincible, and you realize the endless possibilities that lay in front of you. You're young, but not a kid. You're full of life, full of energy, and you're 100% sure you can do just about anything you set your mind up to. 'gonna be 18 till I die'. Bryan Adams said it all.

Cue in life.

Now it's your 21st birthday, you're not a minor anymore. 21. That's another major milestone. No longer a teenager, regardless of all the joy and pride of being a teen. This time it's even better. It's exhilirating. Being 21 is another story; and there is luster involved. You're 21. Your opinion counts. The little thoughts forming through your head; they can be voiced. You can make decisions. You've officially become an adult. It sounds very significant. An adult. You can do things on your own. You have a life of your own. You are in control. Done with education, got your degree, and you decide what you want to do. You believe in yourself, and in your dreams. Get a job, begin your professional career. Earn your own living. Make money for yourself. That first paycheck - unforgettable. You can purchase anything your heart desires. You totally rock your world.

Cue in life once again. This time it's stronger than the forces of nature. Life just happens. (no pun intended)

Somewhere along the line; we get taller and older, and realize that our taste in fashion, shoes, chocolate, coffee and so many other unimportant things has changed. We inevitably face the real world out there. We seek and explore. We stumble and fall. We try to paint with all the colors of the wind. We stand up. We stand tall. We kick our fears away. We win some, we lose some. We make believe. We hide behind masks. We follow our hearts. We defy our logic. We ignore those who don't agree with us. We live and learn.

We're growing, and we're expected to be responsible, mature and serious - in one other word, a grown up.
Do we grow up though?
Our thoughts, our troubles, our worries, our problems, they're actually still the same. Some of us are still hanging on to the same dreams.
You could argue that so much changes, nothing stays the same. Some dreams come true, some are abandoned, and new dreams are made. Problems grow, sometimes they intertwine and get more complicated, some problems get resolved, and new problems emerge. We forget what troubled us a few days ago. Nothing is the same.
You're right. Everything changes. Every single thing.Yet in a perplexing and very subtle way, it's still the same. The essence remains the same. There are traces of us in there, back then and right now. We were young. We were naive. Some of even foolish. Now we're older, but are we ever wiser?

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” ~ Anais Nin

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