Of Silence

I am wrapped in echoes of silence. Renowned as tranquil, in this particular moment the sound of silence is deafening. I attempt to escape but I am numb.

I close my heavy eyes trying to deceive my ears in earnest. If I cannot see, then perhaps this piercing loudness can wither away. I sigh. Like slow morning sunshine seeps into a room, I breathe in all the colors of life.  Though when I open my eyes, I see the colors blend into hues of black and white. Darkness has become my only sun. I wonder how can sunshine make me burn inside.

Suddenly a curtain descends in front of my eyes. It traps all of my senses. A wave of emotions crashes into me. I’m shattered into a million little pieces. Instinctively, I look around. Everything appears the same. Even though I realize it is all so different.

What I see in front of me is nothing I want to embrace.

I’m paralyzed.

Small incoherent thoughts begin to cloud my head.

What is this?

Why is this?

Why me?

Why now?

Why again?

When will it go away?

There’s a crack in my soul; it tugs at me in all the wrong places. I can feel the void. The taste of bitterness contains me. I’m drowning. My broken soul cannot drift to the distant shore of hope.

Irony of ironies is how emptiness can hurt, how nothingness can cause pain.

A cage of sadness traps my tears in words I cannot say.

I scream in silence. 

Never thought your love would take me here

Never thought you’d feel you must leave

Never thought your love would burn me

Never thought I’d lose the one thing I truly believe

~ misteca